Evaluation 5 – What are the Warning Signs of an Abuser?

Be aware of abuser characteristics and know what people to avoid:

  • Blames others for his bad mood

  • Blames others for inappropriate behavior

  • Breaks or strikes objects

  • Constantly manipulates you, other people or situations

  • Controls whom you speak to, when you go places, where you go, what you do and how you get there

  • Cuts you off from friends, coworkers, family and neighbors.

  • During an argument they hold, restrain, push or shove.

  • Easy to anger or easy to be hurt by others.

  • Terrorizes others into submission when angry.

  • History of battery exists.

  • Isolates you from resources: money, food, social interaction.

  • Is jealous or stalks, calls constantly, visits unexpectedly, checks mileage.

  • Masterful at fooling others of the truth; may even brag on how easy it was to manipulate, lie or cheat someone else.

  • Needs to know your whereabouts.

  • No concern for your desire for sex; holds you down, forces you to perform acts you are not comfortable with.

  • Manipulates you so you will comply; makes fun or criticizes you sexually.

  • Polite and charming to others.  Different behavior at home that no one sees.

  • Pressures you to commit to the relationship right away, even if you are not ready.

  • Questions excessively; interrogation.

  • Sudden changes in mood from ecstatic to explosive.

  • Thinks people are out to get him or are plotting against him.

  • Whirlwind romance; requires quick commitment.

  • Will not accept responsibility for mistakes made.

  • Criticizes you because you are unable to meet all their needs or be the perfect mate.

  • You do not feel safe leaving them alone with your child or pet.

  • You do not feel safe with them when they are angry.

  • You feel they are cruel to your pet or your child.

  • Your sense of safety has eroded or disappeared.

  • Excessive texting, found spyware on your computer, demands your online passwords.

  • Is cruel, demeans or frightens you when you are sick, vulnerable or pregnant.