Letters to Dear Me
Is that how conversations with self go?
FOR MOST OF US. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
In my head, it is a swirling of a thousand thoughts all struggling to be heard. Tasks, to-dos I forgot to write down, thoughts about strategy and being busy keeping everyone and my work and my home happy and afloat. Yet, they struggle to find space due to the many messages that are also competing to tell me how much I lack and how small I am. Sometimes are harder than others.
Recently, my daughter said to me, “Mom, who are you calling an idiot?”
I stopped because certainly that is language I don’t use to describe others and I don’t talk to my kids that way. “What?” I asked.
“You were just there saying, Idiot. Idiot. Who were you talking to?”
I realized. She heard me talking to myself. So unaware of the action, that I didn’t even remember saying it just moments before. My self-talk was actually out loud.
I think I have learned so much more of how to treat myself, by watching how I treat my daughter. I am kind to her and I tell her she can do or be anything. I tell her she is amazing, smart and unique. I don’t see any flaws in her and I love her more than I can imagine.
So why am I not deserving of the same? I was a girl and now am a woman. It is hard for me to really understand love for me. Over this year we can dive more into those parts of me, but love is hard to receive or believe is something real and good because of abuse in my life.
When I think about the memo above saying Note to Me. I can love me just as I am. My faith tells me that my Heavenly Father loves me just as I am. So today I can receive that and rest there.
One thing I am going to do right now is to record all of those negative automatic thoughts swirling around right now. If you want to do it with me, just grab a piece of paper and start writing. Whether it is about me personally, my past, my beliefs, whatever negative thought, feeling, emotion, mean thing someone said to me – I am writing on this piece of paper until it is covered up on both sides!
I’m back. Whew! I realized that I started writing neatly and then all of the sudden words, phrases, all kinds of stuff poured onto the page. Front and back, this way and that way.
Now, I will destroy this any way I want: rip it, shred it, burn it. Whatever way to create a simple ‘ceremony’ to remove this from my life. I’m opting for burning [safety first] but burning stuff like this in my chiminea on my back patio is fun!
Once I have gotten rid of this ‘old’ way of thinking then I need to replace it with positive and constructive statements. Remember my affirmations created on Day 5? You may have created your own too. If so, check those out, if not take a moment now to make some affirmations or positive statements to You.
My affirmations were:
1. My life is God’s poetry.
2. I am wonderfully made.
3. I receive these words in my heart.
I feel like they still work for now. I can create more, new ones or keep the same. I have these in my phone to alert me throughout the day so I can continue to replace negative thinking with something fresh and positive.
Tomorrow we can talk more about self-talk.
Share with me a story of yours
Dr. Brooke Jones, Founder Stronger than Espresso