Last week I posted this sign and wanted to take this week and dive deeper into each line.
When I think of being kind-hearted, I automatically think about my dogs. Now, its not just my dogs that are unique, I feel dog-lovers unite knowing dogs represent the essence of what it means to be kind-hearted.
Kind-heartedness is being warm, caring, and generous. Every day my dogs treat me like the most amazing, funny, and terrific person who ever walked the face of the planet. It is as if their love for me is renewed each and every day – throughout the day. When I leave they miss me and when I come home from a hard day feeling exhausted and unappreciated – there they are. Wagging their tails, pawing my leg, whining letting me know how much they missed me. Seriously? I am really not the end all be all – but they make me feel like I am amazing.
One rough morning I sipped my coffee and was feeling really depressed. I was exhausted, sad, frustrated, defeated and rejected for a million different reasons. There was my trusty four legged friend leaning into me knowing – somehow knowing that I needed a dog hug.
That’s when it hit me. I realized at that moment how dogs are pure love. That morning I looked into those googley chocolate brown eyes and soft floppy ears and said, “Yep, that’s why. Dog is God spelled backwards. I know God is pure love and when my dogs look at me and love me unconditionally – they are a being constructed of pure love. That’s it Dog = Pure Love.
Being Kind is fairly easy when you think about it. Sure, it is being polite, saying thank you, share with others, be helpful and thoughtful of those around you. These are things I do pretty well naturally.
What I really wanted to dig into and uncover the certain circumstances I struggle to be kind. After much thought and some wine or was that some thought and much wine…Either way I was able to figure out that I struggle being kind:
When I just don’t feel like it
To people I know don’t like me
To individuals who are mean and Friends, family or colleagues who have hurt me deeply
When I just don’t feel like being kind it is directly because I am dealing with my own feelings. I am either hungry, hangry, mad, sad, tired, stressed, frustrated, etc. When I don’t stop and deal with my own feelings about a decision, a person, a situation I run the risk of not being kind.
When I don’t feel like being kind it is directly because I am around people who don’t like me. This feeling of rejection or direct knowledge that I am not liked by others is very difficult for me to deal with. It makes me automatically become defensive and resistent to being kind to others. I have found that taking the ‘high road’ and being kind and respectful to those even if they have been mean to me, has worked out in the long run. It just is a very difficult road to walk out.
When I don’t feel like being kind it is to individuals who are mean or trigger the most vulnerable parts of me. This could be a Friends, family or colleagues who have hurt me deeply. These wounds stay for the long time and they can be difficult to overcome. I want to scream and yell at those that have hurt me, but over time I have realized that I have unrealistic expectations of them. When I make my actions dependent upon their reactions to me, I am powerless to heal. When I release them from my unrealistic expectations of them, I can heal in my own way and allow them to remain in their dysfunction.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE KIND?
To me Being Kind is a way of being. It is a set of actions, values and basic belief to treat others with dignity. Making it a consistent part of your person to be kind to others AND yourself. Sometimes I find that I am very kind to everyone else, but speak cruel to myself.
You know, that is something that needs to change. For today, I am going to try to be more like my dog. Full of love, and a new day of appreciation for those around me. If they can do it, and they are happy – I am going to give this a try!
Tomorrow lets talk about Having Grace